Behind the closed door, Samantha supported her trembling body by leaning on her hands against the sink. It seemed like the harder she tried to herself down, the faster her pulse began to race. Her hands were visibly shaking, her knees felt like they were made of Jell-O. She took a deep breath and tried to shake the feeling of her throat closing off her breathing. ‘Calm down Sam. Deep breaths. Don’t rush. Stay calm.’ She kept repeating the phrases repeatedly in her head. She turned on the cold water. Sticking her wrists under it, she continued to reassure herself. ‘Relax. You are going to be OK.’ She pulled a paper cup from the dispenser on the wall and filled it with water. She gulped that cup of water down and repeated the act 2 more times. She could feel the cold liquid running down her throat, into her stomach.

Howie knocked on the door. “Sam. Sweetie. Are you OK?” He waited for Samantha to answer. When she didn’t he tried the doorknob but found it locked. He knocked again. “Samantha. Hun, please open the door.” No response. Howie could hear water running. He pounded on the door. “Sam open the door!”

Taking a deep breath, Samantha turned off the water. She stared at her hands as she dried them off. ‘Still shaking but not nearly as badly.’ She thought buttoning her blouse. She took another deep, calming breath. She caught her reflection in the mirror. ‘At least I don’t look like Casper anymore.’ She reached to unlock the door. Her legs were still as wobbly as newborn colt. She unlocked the door and started to open it.

Hearing the latch click on the door, Howie lunged for it and flung it open before Samantha had a chance to open it for herself. She practically fell into his arms. He caught her and helped steady her to her feet before engulfing her in a tight hug. “Samantha” he whispered into her hair “You scared me half to death. Are you alright Sweetie?” He pushed her back away from him just enough to see her face. He was relieved to see she had regained a little color. It was then he noticed Samantha was trembling. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He slid his hand around her waist and guided her back over to the couch. He sat down, pulling her onto his lap. He held her tight and started to rock her gently. “Sam, what’s wrong?”

Samantha rested her head on Howie’s shoulder. ‘Breathe Sam.’ She silently coached herself. ‘In and out. In and out.’ She inhaled deeply, taking in all of Howie’s scent she could in that one deep breath. She held her breath briefly before exhaling. “I’m sorry” she said barely moving her lips. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just had to…” She lifted her head and looked at him. “I’m sorry. I, I couldn’t help it.” She struggled to fight back the tears stinging her eyes. ‘Don’t do it Sam. Breathe! Breathe!’ she commanded herself.

Howie smoothed her hair. “Its OK Hun.” He kissed her cheek. “Are you air sick or something?”

Samantha shook her head. “Nothing like that. Don’t worry, I’m not going to puke on you.”

“I wouldn’t care if you did.”

Samantha smiled meekly at him.

“Are you OK now?”

“I think so.”

“What happened?”